Going nuts!

I knew having 2 young children would not be easy; but frankly speaking, this is really really hard. Maybe it's my hormones, but I am really finding it exceptionally difficult to cope. No.2 seems to be always feeding, feeding, and feeding; leaving me so incredibly exhausted and having no time or energy to spend time with No.1. At least I have some help (my mum/hubby, etc) with the older boy, but I do feel sad that the situation seems to have resulted in him distancing himself from me (not that he was really close to me in the first place). Sigh.

The past few weeks have been hard; filled with tears and screams. It's tough being a mum; and I really do think I'm hopeless at it. My capacity for patience is really low, and admittedly, I don't do so well at keeping my temper in check.

Dear God, please help me to do better...

Words, words, words!

It's been really fun watching our little boy learn to 'talk'. He's got quite a decent vocabulary now; in fact for the 2 days when we were away (in the hospital, delivering No.2), it seemed like he added a lot more words to his word bank!

He's progressed from his favourite word- 'Star' to also include 'Moon', heh.

Other random words:

• Up, Down (he says 'Up' and raises his arms when he asks to be carried)
• More (e.g. if he wants more biscuits), Gone, No More
• Don't Want
• One, Two, Three
• Hair, Knee, Toes
• Elmo, Einstein (as in his Baby Einstein DVDs)
• Clock, Pear, Hole, Cut, Book, Hot, Cold, Wet, etc
• Spoil (we use this since he isn't exactly gentle with his toys.. :p)
• Por (maternal grandma), Kong (maternal grandpa), Mama (paternal grandma). But he can't say Mummy! He uses 'Mama' for both me and his paternal grandma. He can manage 'Papa' or 'Daddy' fine though. Hmmph.

These are what I can recall at the moment.. it's so fun to see him learn and grow! :)

One of my favourites- he can answer to A is for 'Apple', B is for 'Boy'/'Ball', C is for 'Car' / 'Cow'; and for D? His answer- 'wowow' (i.e. dog barking). Simply precious.

Also, he's really into tennis! We can see the tennis court from our unit, and he loves watching people play. Hubby got him a small plastic tennis racquet, and he loves swinging it to and fro, or hitting some small balls- going 'pok', 'pok' (that's the sound a tennis ball makes when it hits the ground). He's nuts about 'pok', 'pok' alright...

No.2 is here!

Our little darling arrived on 7th October 2010!

After an examination on the 6th, the doctor remarked that the baby's head was so so so low that I could probably feel it myself. Yikes. And so she suggested that I check myself in the next morning, get induced and get things going, in order to better manage the labour.

I was only at 2 cm the next morning, and the epidural was administered soon after. Strangely, the epidural administration seemed rather traumatic for me; maybe it was because I was wide awake and not drowsy like the last time. I was very concerned that the nasty side-effects that I had the last time would occur again; thank God it was much more manageable this time round. I only threw up a couple of times- no fever nor shivering; praise the Lord!

I was hopeful that the labour would not be long, but I was still stuck in the bed for almost 12 hours. Nothing 'exciting' really happened until about 4 pm or so; up till then nothing much was going on and the contractions were not really that strong. It felt like a really loooong day and I kept looking at the clock, hoping that time would go by faster...

My doctor helped to 'manually' speed things up by increasing the dilation, and soon it was time to push. Yikes. I did better this time round, and the baby came out after what seemed like an eternity of pushing. The part where she was actually coming out was a tad scary for me; I could see and feel (a bit, despite the epidural) it as she emerged, and I remember letting out a scream!

Overall, I really thank the Lord that the delivery went smoothly. The post-delivery healing seems to be taking a bit longer, but apparently that happens- it gets harder every pregnancy. Hmmm.

Wow- it's so amazing to say that we have children (instead of a child) now. What blessings from God indeed!

Waiting for No.2 to arrive...

I rushed to see the doctor last Thursday (30th Sept) because I was feeling a bit weird. Contractions were quite strong and I was unusually short of breath. A brief examination showed that the baby's head is very low; and I should expect her to arrive early to mid this week.

There were a few instances when I thought the time to go to the labour ward was near; but those instances came and went. And now it's already Wednesday....

My little darling- can you tell Mummy when you would like to come out and see us? :)

Weekend at Le Meridien Hotel

We stayed a night at Le Meridien Hotel recently, with baby in tow, and it turned out to be quite fun! Tiring, but fun.

We checked in around 2 pm, and the little one was so excited checking out the new environment (looking out the window, bouncing around the bed and fluffy pillows, poking the reading lights, etc), that he refused to settle down for his afternoon nap until about 3:30 pm. We took a walk around the poolside when he woke up (it was a bit too cold to swim), gave him a bath and then fed him his dinner before we headed out for ours.

We had dinner at Prime, which was a pricey affair, even after a 50% discount with my Starwood Privilege Member card. Hubby tried a ‘combo’ main course, which featured the following:

4 oz / 110 g Australian Black Angus
200 day’s grain fed center cut filet mignon
Grain mustard sauce, grilled tomato and warm porcini salad

4 oz / 110 g Australian Black Angus gourmet pasture fed beef ribeye
Chimichurri sauce, sea salt and green asparagus tips

4 oz / 110 g Wagyu sirloin
Béarnaise sauce, roasted baby potato

Sounds really yummy right? Sadly, the Wagyu sirloin was really disappointing as most of that particular cut of meat was virtually inedible (you know how it is when the meat is so chewy, filled with the tendons or whatever it is, and you can’t bite through it?) Terrible- I had a half a mind to complain, but we were too busy rushing through dinner while minding a fidgety toddler, to bother.

I had the Prime Surf and Turf, which was quite nice. I also had a side order- Truffles Mashed Potatoes, which were simply delicious!

We tried the Venetian Seafood Buffet Lunch at Favola the next day, and that was quite nice, although I had expected a wider selection for the main courses (which they freshly prepare and dish out to diners instead of us taking it from the buffet table). The pasta was lovely and the dessert (cassata) was refreshing and not too sweet. We ate our fill, but I suppose we didn’t really enjoy it as much (how to when the little one just can’t sit still?)

Gosh, these days it’s getting really hard to take him out for meals when it’s just the two of us… How will we manage when our little girl comes along? I think we’ll probably never see the inside of a nice restaurant for a long, long time. SIGH.

Anyway, overall I think the stay was a nice experience- mainly for the little one! :)

A stranger in our home..

We sent our domestic helper back to the agency today. After a year of relatively good work, things starting to turn a bit funny 1-2 months ago. We were so thankful when she first arrived- the best bit being that she spoke decent English- enough to understand us and make herself understood. She was also doing ok in her work and generally had a reasonable attitude. She was also fairly smart, and from what I could gather, she was saving up to further her studies when she got home, and hoped to hold an office job someday.

Of course, she wasn't perfect. There were times when she seemed to take ages getting one thing done, and she could sometimes be a tad rude when she spoke to us. But all in all, it was ok- we kept one eye open and the other eye closed most of the time. We were even hoping that we could convince her to extend her contract with us for another year.

I would like to think that we treated her well. We took her out for nice meals, bought things for her, allowed her to call home regularly (FOC), brought her along for short family trips, etc. We also gave her a bonus at the end of her 1st year; I still remember the surprised look on her face when she thanked me and gave me a hug...

When she wanted to send money home, we bent over backwards trying to find out the best way of getting it done, so that it would not have to cost her an arm and a leg. We spent quite a bit of money calling her family and also banks in Cambodia to try and sort things out.

Anyway, one fine day she came up to me to say that she wanted to go home. The reason? Apparently her mother 'found' her a boyfriend back home, and she was supposed to go home to get married. After talking to her a bit more, I realised that this guy was willing to wait until she 'finished studying' before getting married. I explained that she should stay focused on her goal of furthering her education so that she could have a better life, and if this guy could wait a few years, what's a further few months (until she finishes her contract here and goes home)? And so, after giving it some thought- she agreed that it made sense for her to stay on. And guess what, she later confessed that the reason she gave me about the guy was a lie!! Nevermind, I thought- I put it down to her missing her family and not being able to tell me just that- the simple truth.

And so, life went on. Things were still ok until we helped her to send some money to her parents, and then she came up to me and said she still wanted to go home. The reason this time? A whole lot scarier. She said she 'liked one of my relatives' (whom I shall not name in this blog posting); and she felt she had to go home before 'something happened'. That seriously freaked us out. So we told her fine we'll send her home via the agency, and then she got a bit scared and said she didn't want to go home after all, and that the story about her 'crush' was a lie. I told her I was tired of her nonsense; I'd already spent hours trying to talk things through with her, trying to help her sort out her obviously cluttered mind, and that there was little point in asking her to stay if her heart was not in the job anymore. I cannot afford to deal with her 'see-saw' behaviour, especially not when I'm due to have another baby soon.

There were other things that happened of course. She got progressively distracted while doing her routine work, one day she didn't eat anything- saying she wasn't hungry, she cut her hair one day using the kitchen scissors (and mind you, she previously gave me a long face when I took her for a haircut months ago, since she wanted to grow her hair out), and the very next day she cut her hair even shorter, looking like she had been bitten by a dog. The scary part was that we're 80% sure she cut her hair- the 2nd time- in the dark (since her room light was off, while the previous night it was on till about midnight where we later found out she was cutting her hair- the 1st time). On top of that, she previously confronted me and demanded to know if we were spying on her via CCTV (which we were not); and that was the one time when I ticked her off for hurling accusations, for being rude, and spending her time entertaining bizarre thoughts as if the whole world was against her. Later I found out that she accused my dad of the same thing, and even after explaining to her that none of us have CCTV, she still harboured the thought (we deduced that from her passing remarks/mumblings which she thought we did not hear). Everything that happened really got all of us thinking whether she was emotionally or mentally stable...

It was really unsettling living with the thought of a potential danger in our home. After all this time, we were like family- we treated her like she was part of the family, trusted her with our child.. and she suddenly morphs into this stranger that we did not recognise. We were worried and afraid; locking our bedroom door at night (which we have not done since we moved to this place), and did not dare to ask her to mind the little one anymore, not even for 5 minutes.

We sat her down once and for all this morning, and asked what her final decision was. She said she wanted to go home, so we told her to pack her bags immediately and we sent her off to the agency to sort the paperwork out.

With the benefit of hindsight (all 10 hours of it :p); we have a sneaky suspicion that all this could have been a ploy to get us to agree to let her go home. Guess we made the mistake of helping her send money home (the agent told us today that we allowed her to send too much); it could be the case that her parents saw all that cash and asked her to come on home instead. If this whole 'behaving-a-bit-crazy' thing was just an act, then I must have to say she is quite an actress. We probably would have held out if we didn't have a small child, with another one on the way, and opt for her to attend counselling sessions at the agency (which apparently is quite effective). Given the circumstances though, we thought it best not to take any chances. Well, sneaky ploy or not, we will never know. Perhaps being away from her family for so long (depression maybe?) caused all this to surface.

Personally, I am disappointed and really upset with her; having taken a lot of time, effort and financial resources to extend our care and friendship, and to demonstrate kindness to her, only to be sadly reminded that kindness does not always beget kindness. And so, we are now without domestic help; it'll take some getting used to, but I'm sure we'll manage. Hopefully we can get a replacement before our baby girl arrives...

Sigh.

Some exciting news to share!

Well, this isn't exactly 'new' news, especially if you've seen me around on a relatively regular basis... but hubby and I are expecting Baby No.2!! We found out during Chinese New Year this year, and that was very early on- at about 5 1/2 weeks. I'm already at 25 weeks now, and the EDD is Oct 18. How exciting!

Oh.. and it's a girl!! My doctor just confirmed that last weekend. A little boy, plus a little girl on the way- God is good to us indeed!

This 2nd pregnancy has been going ok so far; will keep praying that it stays that way. It's tiring of course, having to care for one with another in the womb. Physically it's been definitely tougher; previously I could just lie in bed when I was tired. Not this time. I try not to carry and lift the little toddler too much though, since it puts quite a fair bit of strain on my back and also my tummy.

All that aside, I do enjoy being pregnant... The most wonderful bit is feeling the little kicks; that truly is an amazing experience that cannot be adequately described by words. A wonderful reminder of the miracle of life, and the greatness of our God the Creator.. who blessed us with this little being growing inside me. Her little kicks bring a smile to my face almost every time :)

I'm worried about actually delivering the baby, of course, even though I've done it before. I'm trying not to think too much about it for now, and enjoy the rest of the pregnancy. Time does fly by! Hopefully the delivery will be better than the last time...

Would greatly appreciate your prayers! Thank you so much.

Watch this space for more updates :)

Happy 1st birthday to our little darling!

We have been so blessed that the little one was relatively problem-free, health-wise, for the past year. He coped with the various vaccinations well, and did not develop a fever for any of them (if I recall correctly).

As such, it was really worrying when he developed a fever on the night before his birthday party (!) and was even vomiting. We ended up searching for a 24-hr clinic in the middle of the night; where he was given a suppository to bring down his temperature. Even then, he was still in relatively good spirits, and did not seem too unwell, save for his elevated temperature.

The next morning, he didn’t really seem to be getting better, hence we decided to make a trip to the hospital to consult his paediatrician where he was diagnosed with gastroentitis. Sigh. Poor little fellow. It was scary to see him vomiting after only a small meal, and also when he was given medication; in fact, I recall I could feel and hear his stomach rumbling before the contents were emptied. :(

With all that going on, we weren’t really in a mood for a party, but everything was good to go so we decided to go ahead. Thank God the little darling managed relatively well, and did not really make too much of a fuss. It was stressful for us though; getting ready for the party and taking care of him as well. The scariest point for me was when I gave him a quick bath before the party and he suddenly started shivering and his lips turned blue! Yikes. I really freaked out. Fortunately my sister (who is a doctor) and my mum were around to help. We quickly dried and dressed him, and wrapped him tightly to keep him warm. We really thank God nothing serious happened…

So what about the party? It went quite ok, all things considering, although a few guests could not make it at the last minute because their kids were ill. We had HEAPS of food left over as a result!

We opted for a jungle safari theme; and I spent so much effort fashioning vines, branches and leaves out of brown paper, green construction paper and green ribbons. Took me a few late nights, phew. I also gathered as many animal soft toys I could find; even picking up some at the flea market organised at the office. Hubby and my brother helped to put up the decorations, and I thought it was really cool that they hung some of the toys from a line stretched across the function hall! A whole lot of dark green, light green and yellow balloons completed the jungle look. Admittedly, we could have done more with the decorations, since the hall still looked rather bare; but it really costs so much time and money! Ah well. Truth be told, it all started with the idea for the birthday cake.. and somehow it morphed into an entire jungle safari theme for the party! (I actually tried to make coconut trees but we abandoned that idea after giving it a try... :p)

The birthday cake from Just Heavenly was a huge hit- complete with a monkey climbing a tree, an elephant and a hippo swimming in a lake! We chose them since the little one has a particular liking for his ‘Monkey See, Monkey Zoo’ soft cloth book, which has various cute animals featured inside. The cake looked fabulous and was really delicious too! It did not come cheap; but we wanted to have something special for the little darling’s very first birthday! :)

It was nice to be able to celebrate with a small group of family and friends; wished he was feeling 100% though... We do thank God that he was at least able to attend the party, and was not THAT unwell he had to be stuck in bed.

Lovely gifts from family and friends :)

On the actual day of his birthday- 28th April, we rounded up a couple of cute cupcakes and a candle just for him...

Happy Birthday my dear little sweetheart! Mummy and Daddy are so blessed to have you!

Bedtime stories

For some reason, at about the 1-year mark, the little one started to kick up a big fuss whenever we put him into this cot. He absolutely refuses to sleep in it and would cry most awfully when he put him down after his last feed, which is something that we’ve been doing for the longest time. As a result, we’ve had to make do with settling him in our bed, and transferring him to his cot after he falls asleep. In fact, sometimes even that has not been successful- i.e. he wakes up and starts screaming his head off; so we had to let him sleep in bed with us for the entire night. Guess he considers his cot as some kind of prison- he really hates it that much.

Getting him to sleep in his own room has always been all the cards; guess all the signs were already pointing in the right direction. And so, we took the plunge and began to settle him into another bedroom, and took turns accompanying him throughout the night.

We’ve moved on to buy a guardrail for the mattress so that he doesn’t roll off it, baby-proof the room as much as possible (it’s amazing how much padding one has to prepare, considering how babies can get themselves into the most awkward of situations/positions and hurt themselves), as well as invest in a baby monitor with video function. This was put in place to get him to eventually sleep by himself.

We're pleased to say that he seems to be settling quite well in his own room. Praise God! Although it has only been a few days, we certainly hope he's gotten used to the idea. Of course, one of us still has to accompany him until he falls asleep, and we still have to do a fair amount of shuttling to and fro in the middle of the night (at least twice a night), but hopefully we persevere through all of it. It was been really tiring and rather stressful; but we will commit this to the Lord.

He's unwell as I type this; so one of us will have to sleep in the same room with him until he gets better. Hope he doesn't backtrack; otherwise it's back to square one again for all of us. Yikes. Keep us in prayer!

Long overdue update on the little one

It’s been ages since I last posted an update on the little one. So much has happened in the last few months! He celebrated his 1st birthday (more about that in a separate post); and he has really grown and changed a great deal. It is simply amazing to be part of this.

Some random bits of information:

• Sometimes he likes to sit on the floor and pivot himself on his bum. Round and round he goes- so funny!
• Over the last few months he's learnt to do things like wave bye-bye (although he doesn’t seem to be so keen on that nowadays), clap hands, and do ‘dim chong chong’ (say that in Cantonese). Cool.
• He can crawl amazingly fast now.
• He also has quite an innovative way of playing his toys- in particular things that can roll- e.g. balls, bottles, etc. He throws them and then crawls to chase after the rolling object. This can go on for a while; so we're not complaining!
• On the downside though, he simply enjoys chucking everything around.. But apparently this is normal; ah well..
• From about 11 months or so, he’s learnt to ‘cruise’- i.e. walking as he holds on to furniture. He doesn’t quite have the confidence to let go and walk on his own yet, although there have been a few times where he did let go as he moves from one place to another (e.g. from the nearest sofa into someone’s arms; the distance of 1 step or so, haha).
• My mum's house has a staircase; ever since he could crawl quite steadily, he made it all the way up to the top of the staircase, and recently he's learnt to come down as well. His favourite thing to do now is to climb the staircase and bring along a toy with him as he goes.
• We finally managed to buy a suitable pair of shoes- he hated them at first but now he's finally gotten used to the idea of wearing shoes.
• He’s finally at 5 teeth, after being stuck at 4 for the longest time. And it looks like 2 more are on their way!
• When it comes to sleep, he has to have his bolster. He sniffs one end, sucks on his lower lip and mumbles ‘mmmmmmmm’ in a sing-song manner. So much so that his bolster looks and smells kind of gross and we've started to refer to it as his 'yucky-yucky'. We really should post a video of him and his bolster on Facebook at some point. =)
• Some time ago we discovered he could identify things like the fan, aircon, mirror, etc. We asked him where it was, and he would like in the direction of the item. Cool! He then progressed to pointing at the item; and over the months he's learnt to identify a whole lot of other things- cupboard, bolster, pillow, mummy's handbag, clock, his toys (e.g. ball, bear, star, bus, etc), piano, and so many others. This has since progressed to him signalling to us when he wants to be picked up, and then he would point where he wants us to go! His favourite spots are the fridge (to see the magnets) and Grandma's keychain collection. Absolutely hilarious. Hubby likens him to a compass! Hahaha =) Oh, and he can also pick out specific items- e.g. Grandma's pitcher plant keychain, Turkish eye key chain, etc.
• He's also quite a 'talkative' baby; not that we understand him of course, but it sometimes seems like he has a LOT to say. For now at least he can say 'star' (although it comes in variations of 'ar' and 'tar' at times). We've also heard 'da-da', 'ma-ma', 'mam-mam', 'ba-ba', 'deh-dee' so it's been quite fun to watch.
• Food-wise, I've started being less paranoid and let him try different stuff that we adults eat- e.g. small bits of mango, banana, kiwi fruit, apple, pear, orange, watermelon, ice-cream, cake, chocolate, etc. I remember the look on his face when he first tasted ice-cream; oh, how it screwed up! Hahaha. Now whenever he sees me eating, he'll come right over, hoping to get a taste.
• My mum had a decent amount of success trying to start potty-training him; in the sense of encouraging him to poo when she made him sit on the potty. However, over the last few days, he's been rather naughty and insisting that he didn't want to poo (by vigorously shaking his head or refusing to sit on the potty), but would then progress to do his business a mere 10 minutes later! Standing up quietly in a corner, no less. Suffice to say, my mum has been exasperated over this. :p

He's now about 13+ months old; and it's amazing to see how much he has developed over a short 4 months! I guess in baby terms, 4 months is really quite a long time. I really ought to blog more consistently; I'm pretty sure I'm missing out a whole lot of stuff...

Praise God for our little darling! :)